Whether
it be an Amy Schumer parody, an NPR thoughtful “trialogue,” a linguist, doctor,
student or an ex-Google executive’s take, this summer’s media tsunami over whether
the way women speak affects how they are perceived continues to splash up on
our shores. But like sand in your bathing suit, why is the issue so irritating
and why is it creating such a rash?
We’ve obviously hit
a (vocal) nerve. We all want to speak in
a way that inspires confidence – that compels others to listen. To build rapport, to gain consensus, to be civil in
our discourse, many women (including yours truly) use uptalk, filler words (so,
like, ya know?) and apologies as a more humane way of communicating. But the fact is, for better or worse, the way we speak does affect how we are perceived. Today’s verbal fashion trends – vocal habits including
filler words, up-talk, vocal fry and incessant apologizing -- are contagious and pervasive. They weaken our speech, making us sound unsure, and yes,
maybe even incapable.
Suffice
to say, I am fascinated by this summer’s voice-patrol-mania, the abundance of
coverage, the positions taken, bragging rights, and the breadth of outlets that
are making this issue their feature story.
With my own
#sayitlikeyoumeanit mantra and blog – I’ve had my ear to the sand, tracking the
coverage.
So, who is winning the media war over the way women speak?
So, who is winning the media war over the way women speak?
It’s
time to take stock. Here are 18 summer stories on the way women speak broken down into four camps. I am sure I have missed some goodies (please send them along!), but from this very unscientific media analysis, it seems that, like, ya know, sorry to say, but...making a change wins.
1. Let it Go! (5)
2. Both Sides Now (3)
3. Funny the Way it is (3)
4. A Change Would Do You Good (7)
1. LET IT GO!
“There is no way to take
the woman out of her own voice, nor should there be.”
- Lara Devgan, TheDoctorWeighsIn.com.
Huffington Post, "Want A Lesson In How People Judge Women's Voices? Start A Podcast," Emma Gray and Claire Fallon.
New
York Mag, “Can We Just Get Over the Way Women Talk?” Ann Friedman
RawStory.com, "Just talk how you want, ladies. Just, okay?" Amanda Marcotte.
Slate, “I Uptalk and I Creak. YourComplains Wont Change That.” Caroline Zola.
TheDoctorWeighsIn.com, “TheProblem with the Way Women Speak,” Lara Devgan
2. BOTH SIDES NOW (ALL SIDES, OR NO SIDES)
“Should we change because
women with years of experience advise us to alter our word choice and vocal
chords? Should we stay the same because there is power in that as well?”
- Susan Cohen, The Forward
NPR'S Fresh Air with Terri Gross, “From Upspeak to Vocal Fry: AreWe Policing Women’s Voices?” Linguist Penny Eckert,
Journalist Jessica Grose & Speech Pathologist Susan Sankin.
Philly Voice, “How
Your Speech Patterns Could Impact the Way Others See You - Vocalfry, over-apologizing, and 'sounding gay' subject of public discussion,” Daniel Craig.
The Forward, "The Summer of Women Policing Other Women," Susan Cohen.
3. FUNNY THE WAY IT IS
"Sorry, did you want
that?"
"Sorry, can I scoot by
you?"
"Sorry, I'm just
grabbing something."
"You wanted to talk
first? Oh, sorry."
- Inside Amy Schumer, “I’m
Sorry Skit”
Inside
Amy Schumer, “I’m Sorry”
The
Toast, “Examples of Male Vocal Fry” Jaya Saxena
4. A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD
“We should not ask young women to put on fake voices or to alter
essential parts of themselves. But in my experience of teaching voice to women
for two decades, when a young woman is encouraged to own her power and is given
basic skills in claiming her own voice then huge, good changes follow.” - Naomi Wolf, The Guardian
Cosmo,
“This is the One Word You Need to Stop Using at Work Immediately,” Ellen Petry
Leanse.
Fortune,
“Like, Totally Don’t Talk Like That to Get Ahead in Business,” Gina Barnett.
The Guardian, “Young Women,Give Up the Vocal Fry and Reclaim Your Strong Female Voice,” Naomi Wolf.
ManRepeller, “A Week Without Sorry,” Margaret Boykin
New
York Times, Sloane Crosley, “Why Women Apologize and Should Stop,” Sloane Crosley.
The
Telegraph, “Women Do Need to Man Up and Stop Using the Word Just,” Josephine Fairley.
So, who are you bunking with?
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